The prayer of Examen is a review of the day with God. Prayerfully you ask God to help you notice His presence and His gifts as you look back over a period of time. I am often surprised by what God brings to mind that I missed of failed to appreciate at the time. Often I find or hear deep truths from God through this prayer.

The other night in prayer God immediately reminded of this sweet gift My granddaughter made for me. Made with loving hands and heart, I have no more precious jewels than these! I fully appreciated it at the time but as God brought it to mind again, I was overcome with gratitude. In that moment I heard and felt God as He spoke about what is precious and what is impermanent. I have been struggling and I felt His presence in this moment. I was comforted, strengthened and touched by His hand. I felt a shift in my spirit and I was left changed. My struggle is not over, but God gave me what I need for the next steps.

God comes when and where He wills and it is a mystery. Not all my prayers are so eventful, but when they are-it’s holy ground! Do you long to hear from God? Are you wondering where He is working in your life? Are you hungry to taste the goodness of the Lord and dwell with the spirit of God? Spiritual direction and the prayer of examen are just two ways that can help you hear and see Gods action in your life. God is waiting for you to come to Him and experience his love. Come today.

If you are interested or have questions about anything you read here feel free to contact me and I will be happy to help. 

I remember the first time I achieved a “likeness” in a portrait. I don’t remember how old I was. I don’t remember who it was. I don’t remember if it was a drawing or a painting. I don’t remember if it was in a class or on my own. I don’t remember any of the details, but I do remember how it felt! I remember becoming so engrossed that time stood still. I remember feeling connected to something “else”, something bigger. Art had always held a kind of peace for me, but this was more intense. At the time I didn’t understand that I was experiencing the Holy Spirit entering with me into the act of creating. All I knew was that this was a way to connect to something deep within me and that it was a unique experience for me.
And I wanted more!

One Sunday many (over 30) years ago, our church commissioned a stained glass window that depicted the creation story. When it was finished and installed the pastor preached a sermon on creation. I sat in the pew as he began to read Genesis one. All I heard that whole sermon was, “in the beginning, God created”. As I gazed at the stained glass something clicked for me. God was a creator and I was a creator. In that moment I understood what I was feeling when I created. I understood that we are made in His image and as such, we are creative! And that I shared that with Him! That was a pivotal moment for me and my art.

Fast forward to today. The thrill of creating a portrait is still there. I love to do portraits from life because the life that you are trying to capture is right in front of you. I feel in communion with God and it feels like holy ground to enter into creating an Imago Dei, or the image of God. An image is a reflection or a mirror. Each time I enter into the process of a portrait, from life or a photo, I am aware that each of us is a walking miracle! I see the stardust that we are all made of. I am reminded of the endless variations of the human form that come together in each individual. I notice the natural gestures that only that one person possesses and I try to capture the essence that is unique to that person. And I marvel in wonder at the Creator and lover of our souls.

This is a sketch I meant to paint from a photo on the sketchy app. I never did get to the painting part. I have lots and lots of unfinished works like this one in various stages of completion. One thing the artist always asks themselves is “is this work finished”. Some of the works of art I like best by other artists are sketches and unfinished works. Sketches help the artist search for what is true about the subject and clarify how they want to give that a voice. I think sketches and unfinished work have a purity that the finished work often doesn’t. I find beauty in the simplicity of the artists concept and the struggle to tell the story. I think this sketch has qualities that give it a voice and make it as finished as it needs to be for me, its creator. I love the lines and I think it stands on its own. I wonder if that’s how God see’s us too? And that’s another subject for another time!

"Resurrection power is in everything that looks like it's dying"

​I said that to my spiritual director last week as I reflected on some of what’s been going on in me. I seem to be holding both sorrow and joy at the same time a lot more these days the older I get. When I was younger I was better at compartmentalizing and pushing the hard stuff aside to stay focused on the “good”. It may have been a coping skill I don’t need as much these days? But lately I’m finding it harder to push aside the sorrow and the sting of death that is all around us in this fallen world. I find myself asking God “how can any good come from this?” or thinking there is nothing that can redeem what has happened. Yet at the very same time, I also see God’s resurrection power at work bringing life to what is dead or dying. I see God working to restore and resurrect in the very places that death seemed to end the story. And somehow,
I am finding peace and joy amidst the sorrow.

Resurrection power is a power that is only be seen through death. There is no resurrection without it. You might be saying “duh” right now. But stop and really think about that. Something must die to be resurrected. And God is inviting me (and you) to be a witness to and participate with Him IN that resurrection power. As I contemplate new life from death, the verses He gave me at the beginning of the year in Isaiah continue to deepen and unfold for me.

“See, I am doing a new thing.
Now it springs up; Do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
Is. 43:19”

Notice the word “IN”. One little word. Where does God do the new thing? IN the wilderness and IN wasteland. There is no mention of moving out of the wilderness or wasteland, is there? It is IN those barren, dry, desolate, lifeless place, the new springs up! Do you not perceive it? Uh, no, I don’t Lord. Or at least I didn’t until I began to look.

It was in my daily Prayer of Examen where I started noticing new life coming from what was dying or dead. As I looked back for God in my day or over a period of time or an event, I began to see how God was present in the places that seemed Godless before. It was then I saw a tiny trickle of life giving water in the dessert of my soul. It was IN the midst of the hard season where I saw growth. It was IN the impossible situation that I saw possibility arise. It was IN the midst of death and dying I began to witness hope and a future.

That resurrection wasn’t just happening around me in the physical world, but within me. As I continued to look for God’s resurrection power in the very things that look dead, my heart was being changed. Those places in my heart that were dry, desolate wastelands devastated by sorrow and pain began to see a new shoot of faith. The barren wilderness began to open up to new paths toward God.

The circumstances might change, but they might not. That is not the promise. What I hear from God is that He is the God of Resurrection Power IN me. And the Prayer of Examen has helped me “perceive” the new things He is raising from the dead thing in my life. It is through that prayer that He has shown me His loving care for me where I might have otherwise missed it. He has revealed my sin in a tender compassion and allowed me to confess and be made new in the resurrection power of the cross. It is through this prayer that I have found my tears of sorrow turn to joy as God has shown me the dead places in and around me He is resurrecting.

Where do you need to feel joy and hope amidst sorrow? What are you looking at that is dead today? Over 400 years ago St. Ignatius Loyola began to pray over his day looking for the presence of God. This became known as the Prayer of Examen. Below is a simple prayer of Examen you can pray to help you find joy in the sorrow.



Quiet yourself and become aware of God’s presence.

Begin the prayer by asking the God of Resurrection Power to help you notice His movement in your life over the last day or in an event/circumstance or season of your life.

As you review your day with God, where do you see His hand in your life? Notice the small things as well as the big things.

Notice any feelings that come up and talk with God about them.

If anything stands out to you during your refection, talk to God about it. Allow yourself to be free and open about any feelings or desires you may have around this.

End your prayer in thanksgiving, thanking God for any way you have encountered Him through this prayer.
Amen.
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You can find more information on the Prayer of Examen on the Resource page of the Art and Soul Ministries website. 

​“To be a writer, you must write. To be an artist you must show up at the canvas. - The Artist’s Rule

Ouch! As both a writer and and artist I can say-I’m not showing up!! Are you experiencing that too? Do you have good intentions but never show up to do them? Is your creativity the last thing on your to do list?

I am leading a book club on the book The Artist’s Rule. It’s a book about your inner artist and your inner monk. Without going into too much detail, its a book that applies Benedictine spirituality to our creativity. I am not Catholic but my understanding of Benedictine spirituality is that it emphasizes the idea that everything, even the most mundane task is a holy act if done for and before God. And that every tool we use is a holy vessel. This means that our creativity and even the tools we use to do it are sacred!

But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about showing up and it’s one of the reasons I wanted to do the book group in the first place. I needed to show up. I think about art constantly. I plan compositions in my head. I gather reference photos for future paintings. I read blogs, follow artists on instagram and watch other artists create in videos, but I have remained dormant! I thought for a long time it was because I had more important work to do while I was caring for my father, which was true, and that I’d get right back to it when I was done. But I didn’t. Now I’m caring for my grandkids and enjoying being a spiritual director and life is full. So I wondered for a hot second if maybe that part of me was over? But then why do I still desire to create? In Ignatian spirituality we understand desire to be God given. So where was the disconnect??

Back to the quote. I was reading along and BAM! It hit me hard. I USED TO SHOW UP. I used to love to show up. When I was a working artist it was easy to prioritize my time and values around creating. So I had to ask myself: whats going on that I’m not showing up now? And honestly its a lot of things. Fear, bad time management, lack of energy because I use it on all the “important” things. I could go on...but then there’s that quote! And I realized as I read on that because I’ve shifted my energies elsewhere I’ve moved my art to the bottom of the priority list. The last thing I do when all my “important” tasks are through. The reward I never get to because I’m so tired! But if I’m truthful it goes deeper, I’m avoiding it...

It’s not just reprioritizing things to “DO” art. Its prioritizing “BEING” an artist. We talk a lot about “being” these days. Being present. Intentional. Mindful. All buzz words that are popular now and really just mean showing up! I believe in the mission statement I lovingly created for Art and Soul Ministries: “to create ways to honor and encourage art as a sacred practice”. And because I believe we are all Imago Dei—image bearers of the Creator—as such I believe we are all imbued with creativity!! It’s in our DNA and our very SOULS! And I believe in my mission statement which is one reason I began Art and Soul Ministries in the first place!

So now I have a problem. I’m going to have to show up! I’m praying about what that looks like and I’m leaning in to the Creator and lover of my soul to guide me into what He has for me in all this. And I’m already finding some shifts in how I’m walking in the world as an artist again. Now I’d like to ask you? How are you showing up to your call as a creative being? And how can I and Art and Soul help you do that? Let’s show up together!

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